Dog jokes/poems

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  • #59562 Report Abuse

    Dog_Obsessed
    Member

    There is a site called Leilah’s Laughs that has lots of good dog humor and poems, here are some of my favs:

    Poem for new puppy owners:

    Poem for New Puppy Owners

    Posted on Acme Pet by Bravehart on October 10, 1998 at 11:25:22:

    Don’t smell crotches, don’t eat plants,
    Don’t steal food or underpants.
    Don’t eat my socks; don’t grab my hair,,,
    DON’T RIP THE STUFFING FROM THAT CHAIR!!

    Don’t eat those peas, don’t touch that bush,
    Don’t chew my shoes, what IS this mush!?!
    Eat your cookies, drink your drink,
    Outta the toilet! Outta the sink!

    AWAY FROM THE LITER BOX, IT’S FOR THE CAT!
    (and must you kiss me after that!?!)
    Raising a puppy is not for the lazy,
    Those rugrats are funny, but also quite crazy.

    Don’t despair through the toil and the strife.
    “Cause after three years you’ll get back your life!
    So lets go for walkies, so you can do your “thing”
    And maybe I’ll get back my diamond ring!

    -Author unknown

    The 12 days of christmas puppy style:

    A Puppy’s 12 Days of Christmas

    (Be sure to read down to Day 12)

    On the first day of Christmas my puppy gave to me
    The Santa topper from the Christmas tree.

    On the second day of Christmas my puppy gave to me
    Two leaking bubble lights
    And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree.

    On the third day of Christmas my puppy gave to me
    Three punctured ornaments
    Two leaking bubble lights
    And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree.

    On the fourth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me
    Four broken window candles
    Three punctured ornaments
    Two leaking bubble lights
    And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree.

    On the fifth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me
    Five chewed-up stockings
    Four broken window candles
    Three punctured ornaments
    Two leaking bubble lights
    And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree.

    On the sixth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me
    Six yards of soggy ribbon
    Five chewed-up stockings
    Four broken window candles
    Three punctured ornaments
    Two leaking bubble lights
    And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree.

    On the seventh day of Christmas my puppy gave to me
    Seven scraps of wrapping paper
    Six yards of soggy ribbon
    Five chewed-up stockings
    Four broken window candles
    Three punctured ornaments
    Two leaking bubble lights
    And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree.

    On the eighth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me
    Eight tiny reindeer fragments
    Seven scraps of wrapping paper
    Six yards of soggy ribbon
    Five chewed-up stockings
    Four broken window candles
    Three punctured ornaments
    Two leaking bubble lights
    And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree.

    On the ninth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me
    My wreath in nine pieces
    Eight tiny reindeer fragments
    Seven scraps of wrapping paper
    Six yards of soggy ribbon
    Five chewed-up stockings
    Four broken window candles
    Three punctured ornaments
    Two leaking bubble lights
    And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree.

    On the tenth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me
    Ten Christmas cards I shoulda mailed
    My wreath in nine pieces
    Eight tiny reindeer fragments
    Seven scraps of wrapping paper
    Six yards of soggy ribbon
    Five chewed-up stockings
    Four broken window candles
    Three punctured ornaments
    Two leaking bubble lights
    And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree.

    On the eleventh day of Christmas my puppy gave to me
    Eleven unwrapped presents
    Ten Christmas cards I shoulda mailed
    My wreath in nine pieces
    Eight tiny reindeer fragments
    Seven scraps of wrapping paper
    Six yards of soggy ribbon
    Five chewed-up stockings
    Four broken window candles
    Three punctured ornaments
    Two leaking bubble lights
    And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree.

    On the twelfth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me

    A dozen puppy kisses
    And I forgot all about the other eleven days.

    Here is the link to the site(warning: some of the jokes are not kid appropriate, so don’t show to kids without reading first): http://www.wonderpuppy.net/1lists.php

    #59567 Report Abuse

    Dog_Obsessed
    Member

    Also, there is this site I just found:http://www.pawsperouspets.com/humor/

    #59585 Report Abuse

    crazy4cats
    Member

    Dog Obsessed- OMGosh, I think the first poem was written for us! We got two lab/retriever litter mates at about 8 weeks old. Everything in it happened and now they are three, and we have a LITTLE peace. Thanks for sharing. 🙂

    #59587 Report Abuse

    Dog_Obsessed
    Member

    Your welcome! Try reading it dramatically to your friends, serious laughter may occur.

    #59599 Report Abuse

    Dog_Obsessed
    Member

    How many dogs does it take to change a lightbulb? http://www.wonderpuppy.net/bulb.php

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